There was so much to plan for, yet so little time to do everything. In two weeks, the guild would officially turn seven years old, and Ilya was keen to host an electrifying anniversary event for everyone. Aside from Rob, who had left abruptly a year prior, the remainder of the guild had remained tightly-knit, and some new members had joined as well. This allayed Ilya’s likely irrational fear that the guild would begin to fall apart in his absence. He was one of the founding members all those years ago, and though his memory was now a maudlin reminder of simpler times, the pain of the loss had transitioned into a bittersweet memory. She missed him — everyone who knew him did — but she’d finally made peace with it. In Ilya’s mind, such was life: people come, people go. It’s not about who leaves, but rather about who chooses to stay. And she’d seen the reality of that. Yara was still there every day; so was everyone else. And there were some new faces now as well. To Ilya, this anniversary event was as much of a thank-you to everyone who chose to stay in her life, as much as it was a celebration of the community.
And thus, everything had to be perfect. The choice of venue, the events and games they’d run, the prizes they’d entice people with. Most of all, Ilya wanted the memory of the anniversary to stay with everyone who participated for the rest of their lives. It was all a bit overwhelming to think about and plan for, but she was knew she wasn’t alone. Thankfully, she had a friend to coordinate it all with — someone that would shoulder the burden and keep her sane. After all, a burden shared was a burden halved.
Seeing that Yara was online and in Siliana, Ilya began tapping away at her keyboard, struggling to contain the brimming excitement that bubbled up inside her. Even if it was stressful, it was going to be fun.
Ilya [private]: “Hey, Yara, I’m thinking we should host the anniversary event in the Miracle Garden - the one you get to after you beat Arkvay. It’d be a homage to our greatest ever accomplishment, and even if there are a few new people in the guild that have never beaten him, it’s just a really, really nice area. He’s super old content now, so you and I could probably duo him to scout the area. I also wanna get the guild together to do that dungeon that gives the super cool accessories that change your character’s voice so we can give them away as prizes. Let me know what you think. I’m so excited! ♥”
As she waited for a reply, Ilya tabbed out of the game and began organising a Kanban board that she, Yara and anyone else that wanted to help with the anniversary event could use to track the things that needed to be done. She also produced a spreadsheet with potential prizes and their associated costs, as well as a possible itinerary for them to follow. It took her around half an hour to compile everything, after which she realised she’d been distracted and hadn’t checked for Yara’s reply. She hurriedly tabbed back in, ready to apologise profusely for taking such a long time to respond.
But, when she panned her gaze to the chat log, she found it completely empty, save for the message she’d sent Yara some time ago. A frown crept its way onto her expression. She opened up her menu to see if Yara had been AFK, but instead found that she was in a different area than when she messaged her. Bemusement followed, and then her mind began to stir. Was Yara upset at her? Did she not see the message? The former was possible, but what did Ilya possibly do to provoke her ire? The latter was far less plausible…they had their own signature jingle. They’d even set it up to play even if the rest of the game’s sound was muted. To calm herself, Ilya decided to give her best friend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Yara had her private messages turned off. Maybe someone else was on her account. She waited a few more moments, before she decided that it’d been long enough. Then, for her own sanity’s sake, she decided to pop a message in the guild chat.
Ilya [guild]: “Hey, Yara? Not sure if the server glitched and you didn’t get my message in DMs?”
Yara [guild]: “I saw it. Sounds good 👍”
What was once a subtle frown on Ilya’s expression now deepened as she received what was, in her mind, an effortless, aloof and impersonal response from her best friend. Her forehead creased, the space between her brows wrinkled, and the thoughts she’d fought to contain only a few moments prior had been unleashed much like waves crashing their way through a fragile dam. Being her best friend, Ilya had been alongside Yara nearly every day since they met all those years ago. She knew exactly what a crestfallen Yara looked like, and this wasn’t it. This was something far different. Something distant and foreign, the likes of which she’d never seen before.
Though the rational part of her mind knew it could have been something happening in Yara’s personal life, or something even as benign as Yara being distracted, she felt personally affronted by the indifferent reply. They usually shared everything together. Yara wouldn’t keep her sadness inside. She’d ask to talk, like she’d always done. Nor would she hesitate to tell her that she was busy — she’d done that plenty before. That was, of course, unless she was upset with her.
That train of thought, though it was flawed and hardly based on any rational proof, convinced her that Yara must have been upset with her, for what else could possibly cause the person that knew her better than anyone else to contrast her excitement with such indifference? Her mind soon began to replay each and every interaction they’d recently had. She was searching for the proof of what she had done. Perhaps Yara was upset that she’d forgotten to say good night before she logged off yesterday? She was pretty tired, and she’d fallen asleep at her keyboard before. Yara didn’t seen to mind it in the past. Maybe Yara was upset that she didn’t invite her to run that new dungeon with her? She’d explicitly told her she didn’t want to run it, and even rejected the party invite. Did she want another invite? Did she want to be chased?
Try as she might to find the source of Yara’s behaviour, and resolve her angst, nothing came to mind. The more she thought about it, the more futile it felt. Though she was trapped in an endless cycle of thinking about what could have possibly prompted Yara’s behaviour, nothing substantial enough to warrant the ambivalence of Yara’s reply came to the surface. The only thing Ilya was gaining from this was a knot in her stomach, and a foreboding sense that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
She knew that, if she wanted to know the truth of it, she’d have to ask Yara directly. But that meant reaching out after she’d just been stonewalled. Whether Yara had meant it personally or not, it hurt. A lot. Not only her feelings, but her pride too. She’d expect a reply like that from a stranger, but not her best friend of seven years — not one that called her one of the most important people in her life only a few months ago.
It took a few moments to muster the courage, but she slowly began to tap away at her keyboard. Pride would not come between her and her dearest friend. She’d just have to accept the possibility that the response she’d receive might be just as terse as the last. At the very least, she’d have tried. Besides, she reminded herself, they were joint at the hip. This would be temporary, and they’d return to normalcy soon enough. They were best friends and co-founders of a guild together. Their bond could withstand anything — and if it were to break, it wouldn’t be something as silly as this that shattered it.
It took a long time for her to compose the message, but, once she was done, she pressed the enter key and released the breath she’d mistakenly been holding for far too long.
Ilya [private]: “Hey, Yara? Is everything ok? Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry if I did.”
A brief pause — not quite as long as before, but long enough for the mind to race.
Yara [private]: “No, you’re all good. Just been a bit busy. I’m gonna log off now, but I’ll be back later.”
And, before Ilya could even finish reading what little Yara had typed, she received the notification:
Yara is now offline.
Ilya’s heart sank.