A glimpse of glittering, golden morning sunshine managed to, against all odds, flicker its way through the blackout curtains of the quaint studio apartment, causing Ilya to stir from her sleep. It was early, much earlier than Ilya usually rose, and she was exhausted. Last night, her and Yara played into the early hours of the morning as they worked to finish crafting Yara’s legendary amulet, Radiance. They had to voyage through the Endless Chasm, a difficult, stressful and awfully unforgiving dungeon, to eventually reach the Rainbow Steppes where, after hours of searching, they were finally able to acquire the Glittering Gold Petals of Maever, the last of the reagents required to complete the amulet.
By the end of it, both Yara and Ilya were falling asleep at their desks, but neither really minded — this was the culmination of months of effort, and they both knew just how ecstatic they’d be once Yara’s avatar was finally able to don the necklace. The jewels, which resonated with deep, vivid, golden hues of sunlight, caused Yara’s avatar to appear as though she was imbued with sunshine itself. But, still, despite this, the satisfaction came from more than just witnessing the wondrous visual effects accentuate Yara’s avatar — rather, they were symbolic of a great bond between two friends that had consistently been at one another’s sides for the last six years. Friends that had built a welcoming, loving and wholesome community together — where everyone was welcome, and everyone felt a sense of belonging. The satisfaction she felt at seeing her dear friend realise such a lofty goal was absolutely worth every ounce of weariness she felt as a result. She’d do it for any member of the guild.
Rising from her slumber, Ilya pulled apart the curtains and shielded her eyes from the blinding sunshine that pierced through her windows and bathed the entirety of her room in a deep, rich glow. Despite the muted colours that accentuated the furnishings, Ilya couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful the interior looked. The plain walls now bore the gentle, scattered beams of light that dared to grace her humble studio; the run-down carpet felt warm beneath her feet, and a beam of glorious sunshine lit her computer chair as though it was a spotlight, ushering her to perch upon her proverbial throne. By all accounts, today felt like it was going to be a wonderful day. And, luckily for Ilya, it was her day off. She felt as though the stars in every corner of the universe aligned to present her with the blessing that was today. And she knew precisely which community she wanted to share this wondrous day with.
Preparing herself a mug of her favourite coffee, Ilya wiped the sleep from her eyes and settled into her chair, eagerly tapping her login credentials into the game’s login screen. The orchestral music never failed to bring a smile to her face, even though it had seen several iterations since she’d first heard it all those years ago. In her mind, she could never hope to ask for a more serene and beautiful start to the day. This was as close to perfect as it could get.
Though it had barely passed six o’clock in the morning, Ilya was curious to see who, if anyone, was online. She thought it unlikely, but always enjoyed the early morning chats she had with her guild members whilst the rest of the world still slumbered, and whilst everything around her was so serenely still. And so, she navigated her way to the guild menu. There, Ilya noticed that there was a single member of the guild online — the one she expected to see the least: Rob. This was so unlike him, as he would never log in before the late afternoon most days. Curiosity got the better of her: had he stayed up all night? Was he logging in because he wanted to finish his daily quests early? What could possibly have prompted this strange change in behaviour? Guided by her desire to unveil the answers to the mystery that was Rob’s uncharacteristically early appearance, she opened up the guild chat log and sent through a message to greet him eagerly:
Ilya [guild]: “Hey, Rob — I see you’re also on way too early lol. I’m surprised. Did you stay up all night??”
Moments passed, though the stillness of the morning’s silence continued to permeate within the game. She received no reply, and, some fifteen minutes later, received a notification that Rob had logged out. She felt her forehead crease, her lips press together pensively, and her mind stir. Eventually, she lifted her shoulders and shrugged ambivalently. He’d probably forgotten the game on and was automatically logged out. Although she was a little disappointed, as she was excited to spend the early morning chatting away with a guild member, she had plenty of things to keep her busy while she waited for everyone else to log in. She had dailies to complete, dungeons to run and guild events to plan. And so, being the pragmatic and conscientious guild leader she was, she set about posting the guild’s events for the upcoming week to the guild’s central message board.
The Siliana Fashion Contest, the DPS contest, and, of course, the raids on Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday respectively. There was so much to plan for, but Ilya felt quite privileged to be able to host such meaningful events for the community she’d built in the game.
When she had finished updating the message board, Ilya noticed a notification in the corner of the menu. A guild member had posted a message only just a few moments ago.
“Hey everyone,
Been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’ve decided that I’m gonna step away from the guild and the game. Things have changed in my life, and I’d like to give the real world the attention it deserves. I’m gonna miss Yara telling me off for not using my cooldowns, Ilya laughing at me for facing the boss the wrong way, and the rest of you for treating me like your own personal crafting bot.
You’ve all made this place home for me for just over five years now, and I can’t thank you enough for all the memories you’ve given me. I might be around from time to time, but not nearly as much as I once was. I hope you guys can keep trucking on and take out the next update’s raid bosses. I’ll be cheering you guys on from the sidelines.
Goodbye for now.
Rob The Former Goat.”
Curiosity turned to bemusement the longer she read, and soon her mind began to whirr as she deliberated the possible events that led to this. Was there something going on that she was unaware of? Had something happened to make Rob leave? It was only yesterday that Rob was laughing with everyone in guild chat, and now, some ten hours later, he was gone. No explanation — at least, not a satisfying one — and no promise to at least stay in contact. Five years of friendship, over. Just like that. Ilya shut her eyes, fighting to keep the rising, visceral emotions of confusion, anger and hurt at bay. Real life always took priority — but was this not real?
The friendships she’d forged online felt very real to her, and yet she could never imagine one of her friends in the real world, however distantly she might have known them, simply vanishing with such a vague and cryptic explanation overnight. Perhaps they’d grow apart, or go their own separate ways over time— but to leave with the most ambivalent of explanations after nearly five years of daily interaction? This was utterly inconceivable, and brought to the surface a very painful thought — one she was sure she once knew the answer to only a few hours ago.
Were we not real friends?
Brushing the painful thoughts aside for now, Ilya hurriedly went to leave a message for Yara, who she knew was likely still asleep.
Ilya [private]: “Hey, Yara, Rob quit? Did something happen??”
Then, another:
Ilya [private]: “I’m so confused, like, did he talk to you about it or something? He never said a word to me, and everything seemed so normal yesterday.”
The wait for a reply was arduous, and each moment that passed that morning felt as though an eternity had passed. Over time, the sunshine that had once graced her room and thus stood as a testament to the beauty of the world had begun to fade, dimming Ilya’s hope that this was all a misunderstanding. She tried to busy herself by completing the mundane tasks required to achieve her daily rewards, but constantly found herself checking her chat log for a notification of Yara coming online. She even refreshed the guild log more than once — even though she knew it was futile, she was anxious, and her outward behaviour had transitioned from the calm, pragmatic leader she was nearly half an hour ago to that of a compulsive, fearful child that was waiting for proof that her parents had not left forever. An unlikely, almost ridiculous thought, kept nagging at the corner of her mind:
Has Yara quit too?
Oh, don’t be ridiculous. We’ve built this together; she’d never leave just like that.
Rob just did…
Rob isn’t like Yara. Yara would never…
We stayed up late last night. She’s literally just asleep. You’re being ridiculous.
We’re real friends.
Eventually, after what felt like far too long, the harbinger of relief and liberation arrived in the form of a notification that prompted Ilya to release the breath she didn’t know she was holding:
Yara is now online.
Yara [guild]: “Moooorning guildies, or, should I say guildie!”
Yara’s message carried the same warmth and familiarity that Ilya had come to associate with her best friend. Had the circumstances been different, Ilya would have mirrored her light-hearted greeting. Instead, she simply chose to wait, hoping that Yara would acknowledge the panicked message she’d sent her a few hours ago. A knot formed in her stomach, and the five or so minutes that elapsed before Yara’s next message arrived felt like an eternity.
Yara [guild]: “Oh, yeah, Rob messaged after you went off last night. Said he hasn’t really been enjoying the game much anymore. I think he’s been pretty burnt out, so I suggested taking a break. He seemed adamant that he wanted to leave for good. I told him we’d all miss him, but wanted him to do what’s best for him. RL always takes priority, of course. I suggested he could keep in touch if he wanted, but never really got an answer. /shrug”
Ilya wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She knew that his choice to message Yara after she’d gone to sleep was likely coincidental, but could not help but feel personally neglected. Could he not have spared a simple farewell when she messaged him in the morning?
Ilya [guild]: “That sucks… we’ve known him for five years, and I can’t remember the last day I went without chatting to him. I kinda feel bleh that he couldn’t even send me a message about it when we were both online this morning…”
Yara [guild}; “Yeah… I doubt it was personal. I don’t think he messaged anyone else tbh. I was the only one on when he sent the message, so it was probably just a convenience type thing. I get you, though. It sucks a lot. We’ll get through it, though. I’ll miss him too, but we still have the rest of the guild, and each other. We’ll be all right, I think.”
Ilya [guild]: “Hey, Yara?”
Yara [guild]: “Yep, what’s up?”
Ilya [guild]: “Are you gonna quit, too?”
Ilya wasn’t usually one to act on her anxiety, but she felt almost compelled to seek the reassurance that this wasn’t the beginning of the guild’s downfall. A few moments of tense silence permeated. Yara didn’t usually take this long to reply, prompting the knot in Ilya’s stomach to tighten, and her eyes to glaze over. She wasn’t usually this sensitive, but part of her wondered if this was the beginning of the end.
Yara [guild]: “LOL, I love this game. The only way you’re getting me off it is if nuclear war breaks out and they decide to attack the game’s servers. Nah, I’m too attached to my character, and to the guild, to even consider that. Also, we’re besties. Alongside my family and childhood friend, which are obviously gonna be important to me, you’re the most important person in my life. Stop being silly ♥ /hug"
A pause.
Yara [guild]: “Sorry for the delay there btw, I was making coffee, didn’t mean to scare you lol. You up for dailies?”
Ilya [guild]: “Yeah, sure… need me on tank or DPS?”
Despite the rollercoaster that the morning had been, she was relieved that she still had Yara by her side. She’d miss Rob, that’s for sure, but there was no sense in ruminating, for such was the way of MMOs — people come and go quickly. It’s not like Rob was the first friend she’d ever lost online. At the very least, she could count her blessings: her best friend was here to stay.